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I have sneaked in the house and gone up to what used to be our bedroom and found my mother has moved all her clothes into the wardrobe and taken what I had left out and I have even seen a tube of lube on the bedside table (my mother is post menopausal).
And then I read it again and thought, well, this person sounds lonely as fuck and she had the guts to tell some judgy asshole strangers her story and if it’s real OH MY GOD her HUSBAND and her MOM are THE WORST PEOPLE and maybe we can help validate THAT if nothing else.
I don’t believe there are feelings of love and attraction that “have to” be acted upon. There are some things I can’t get past, though, when I read your letter.
I don’t believe in “it just happened.” “It” happens because people make it happen. A) Of all the women in the world he chose to date your mom and of all of the gin joints in the world he chose to take her to your regular hangout. What are the chances that they didn’t see you or know you were there?
It sounds to me like you left him, slowly, on the installment plan, and then he decided to hasten the end by setting everything on fire, including the bridges. When you agreed to an open marriage, did you both envision a situation where either or both of you would move out for long periods of time?
And, maybe there’s a reason you never want to be at home where he is lately? ) I have so many questions, like, do you hang out, ever? What does “normal” or “the desired outcome” for your marriage look like to y’all? Is there a compelling reason to stay married to him, beyond say, the legalities or force of habit?