7 rules dating my daughters

If you think that you will have opportunities to explore your sexual activity with my daughter you will find out that I will be the only type of birth control that you will need.

However, to make certain that your clothes do not accidentally slide off or spontaneously explode off your body due to being too tight, I will take my staple gun and fasten your jeans snugly in place to your waist.

A free spirited yoga instructor finds true love in a conservative lawyer and they got married on the first date.

Though they are polar opposites; her need of stability is fulfilled with him, his need of optimism is fulfilled with her.

Rule #1 If you plan on taking my daughter on a date and come to my house and honk your horn or call her cell phone you'd better be the UPS man, because you are not picking anything up.

Rule #2 If you touch my daughter be prepared to have removal of the touching limbs from your body in any such way that I feel appropriate.

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Rule #6 If you plan on dating other girls besides my daughter make sure that you have told her and that she is okay with this.

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